Perhaps one of the most aggravating and disheartening aspects of Christian social media is the inevitable “Us Versus Them” mentality that develops between various doctrinally sound groups. By this, I simply mean that Christians who hold to particular doctrinal beliefs and practices that are orthodox yet differ from others who hold different biblical views will end up going to war with one another.

Differing views within orthodox views of Christian practice have existed since the birth of the church. Over the centuries, those views have resulted in various denominations that are most certainly Christian but have distinctives that set them apart from other Christian churches. That is simply a fact of life, one that will never change until Christ returns and ushers us all into glory. And, at that point, all of us will discover where our theology was deficient.

In the past, you might have ecumenical councils addressing deep theological questions of the day. You would have books upon books written in support of and in response to various doctrinal beliefs. Lectures and sermons abounded on these topics. Now, this is not to say that Christians never spoke with barbed tongues “back in the day,” they certainly did, often regrettably so. Yet, the manner and frequency in which this occurred was quite different given the lack of immediate access to the entire world that exists today.

With the advent of digital technology and social media, we cannot only read what someone around the world just posted, but we can engage in immediate communication with them. Truly a wonderous ability, yet one laden with dangers to those of us who cannot seem to control our wicked tongues.

What has often resulted in this age of immediate access is the ability to find those who think exactly like ourselves and to identify those who are not in our particular bubble. We create Christian camps and set watchmen at the gates (i.e. we surround ourselves with those who agree with us and will pounce upon those who dare intrude with differing views). While that might seem overly dramatic, it far too often becomes the reality when we become focused on what makes us different while, simultaneously neglecting what unites us, that we are all in Christ.

Please, do not misunderstand what I am saying. Firstly, I am not saying that all who claim to be in Christ genuinely are so. False converts and wolves among the sheep are common and we must be discerning to identify them. Also, I am not saying that those things that make us different are unimportant. As Christians, we are duty-bound to study the Scriptures and rightly divide them so that we might know Him and what He commands us to do. Rigorous discourse and debate with our brethren help us refine our understanding and practice that we may be unified in Christ and His Word.

Yet, as we engage in these discourses, that we are often dealing with our actual brethren in Christ is a necessity that we must not overlook. These are fellow sinners who have been purchased by the blood of Jesus and redeemed by His grace just as we once were. They are not less deserving of His kindness and mercy than we are. In fact, none of us were deserving of such grace. As it has been said, we are all blind beggars helping other beggars find a crust of bread.

The problem is, when we so often form our Christian enclaves online, we can forget this very important truth. We become so focused on the what (doctrinal differences and practices) that we fail to remember the who (our fellow heirs with Christ) we are engaging. When we become laser focused on defeating opposing arguments, what can result is a lot of back and forth shouting at one another, failure to rightly understand an argument, wrongly representing each other’s arguments, and even responding with attacks that do not address the actual argument made. And we do this because we are not dealing with people but our own perception of their arguments which we feel we have to “defeat.”

When we neglect the truth that we are dealing with fellow Christians, it becomes all too easy to become uncharitable. We see a post, an article, or a video that posits a doctrinal belief with which we disagree. The overwhelming concern becomes defeating the position and making sure everyone knows that position is something they should never practice or believe. Rather than recognizing the person behind the post is a fellow Christian making an argument consistent with their denominational beliefs, we view them as an opponent or enemy that must be fended off at all costs.

Charity and grace are left inside our camps as we wage virtual warfare with fellow Christians. We feel no need to remember Christ’s commandment to love one another because the debate over doctrinal distinctives is far too important. We might even justify our behavior by saying that it is loving to correct bad doctrine (a very true statement that can be twisted to excuse ungracious behavior). Someone could be swayed to their beliefs if we fail to act right now. So, into battle we go forgetting just how gracious Christ is with us in our own theological ignorance. Such behavior is unbecoming those truly in Christ.

Therefore, it is my encouragement to my fellow believers to flip the script just a bit. Yes, by all means, let us engage in discourse and debate. Let us respond to doctrinal beliefs and practices we find troublesome and concerning. Let us build up one another in the truth of Scripture that we may actually be unified in Christ and His Word. Yet, let us do so in a gracious manner that extends patience and lovingkindness to one another.

When we engage, let us listen to what someone actually says instead of assuming we know what they really mean. Do not look for ways to assault one another’s character instead of responding to the argument itself. Let us not pretend we can read minds and know someone’s motivations, rather, let us draw out someone’s intended meaning and purpose through charitable discussion.

To do this, of course, means that we must humble ourselves and remember that we are not better than those with whom we debate. We are all servants of Christ whom He has called, equipped, and placed us where we are in this place and time that we might serve and bring glory to His name. We all deserved Hell but Christ redeemed us and made us His own that we would spend eternity with Him. We are brothers and sisters through Christ’s blood and we are to love each other as we love our Savior. That change in perspective reminds us that, as we engage one another, we are addressing family we will spend our eternal lives with.

This is my encouragement to my fellow brethren. I have no illusions that this will be a swift and final resolve to all the discouraging infighting we see. However, if each one of us resolve to change our perspective in this way at least once per day, I believe we may see more fruitful discourse begin to develop.